4 years
Disequilibrium.
Key words "out of bounds" so in every direction.
Where 3 ½ is too insecure, 4 is overly secure and brashly confident in his own abilities.
Motor wise, bites, kicks, throws, runs away.
Emotionally loud silly laughter. Alternates with fits of rage, "You make me so mad."
Verbally more out of bounds than in any other way. Language can almost be guaranteed to shock anybody except the most hardened. Profanity rampant. You wonder where in the world he ever heard such awful language. Bathroom and elimination words come into common use. Uses them not only incidentally, or where they might be appropriate, but may dwell on them and rhyme with them, accompanying his rhyming with such silly laughter, showing he fully appreciates their inappropriateness.
In interpersonal relations, out of bounds. Loves to defy parental commands. Seems to thrive on being just as defiant as he can manage. Even severe punishment may have little chastening effect. A terrible toughness has seemed to come over him. He swaggers, swears, boasts, and defies.
Imagination seems to have no "reasonable" limits. This new – found flight through imagination, which often begins at 3 ½ may be a high point for the enjoyment of imaginary companions. Parents accept these fairly well. Less well accepted by parents are the 4’s tall tales which often strike adults as being just plain lies. To the 4, the line between fact and fiction is very thin and flexible. May not actually be telling falsehood, it’s just more interesting that way, and his own imaginings become real to him.
Firmness of stand you take toward out – of – bounds behavior is up to you. Certainly there are limits. Very simple social situation of a nursery – school group require even more.
Needs to be allowed to test himself out – allowed to go up and down the sidewalk with expanding limits – run ahead on a walk and wait at the next corner. Perhaps there are understanding neighbors he can visit.
Reins of control can be held loosely, but there are always moments when they need to be pulled up short and sharp.
http://www.odessa.edu/dept/psychology/cwells/gesells_stages_of_development.htm